As I sit looking in the mirror at my hairdressers having the usual half a head of highlights (no change in about about ten years!), I start thinking about how I’m going to inspire on my next blog post. As usual me and my hairdresser get into our deep and meaningful convo about how our lives are going, what’s happened since my last visit and how we’re both feeling – you’ve got to love these conversations, it’s like a mini therapy session for the both of us.
Being my usual inquisitive self always wanting to understand people and their worries and reasons for doing what they do, a question comes to mind and as usual without any thought I blurt it out to my hairdresser, Mark we’ll call him. “Mark, what is it you fear the most, like in general in life, what are you afraid of?”
You might be thinking wow pretty big question, and one that many of you would probably think about for a while, but thank god my hairdresser thinks exactly like I do. With no thought whatsoever his answer is there on the tip of his tongue as he replies with, “Well I have all these things I’d like to do, maybe travel the world doing hairdressing on cruise ships, maybe own my own salon or even work with celebrities, and what scares me the most is that I’ll never do any of those things, I’ll stay working in this same salon forever living a nice comfortable life”.
He fires the question right back at me, “What about you?”. I take a little longer to reply as I’m not used to being the one being questioned and I eventually reply with this. "I fear that everything I want, all the ambitions and aspirations that I work towards achieving every day, that I’ll one day achieve them but the reality won’t be what I hoped for, that the lifestyle won’t be as good as I thought it would be and all my efforts will have been a waste of time”.
Sound depressing hey?! So where’s the inspiration. Well after leaving the salon this morning I realised what we were both really saying when we gave our answers. I am afraid of success and disappointment and Mark is afraid of failure, not believing in himself enough to dive head first in to new opportunities.
Which one are you I wonder? Are you constantly working hard to achieve but never actually making that crucial step that just might provide you with the success of getting that promotion or that relationship you want so badly? Are you always holding back when it matters most? Or are you the one staying comfortable, staying safe so you’ll never have to risk being criticised or feeling rejected, or does it simply scare the hell out of you to think that the grass may actually be greener on the other side compared with where you are now, that you daren’t even look?
Here’s what I have come to know. My whole life I have been looking for answers, wanting to know if genuine happiness and love exists and actively working towards designing my life the way I want it. Do you know what it all comes down to?! Yes of course it’s about being clear about what you want out of life (and just as importantly what you don’t want!) but ultimately you have to become a master of embracing uncertainty, the unknown and letting go of the need to control.
Before I wrap this up, I’ll come back quickly to mine and Marks fears. I may be afraid that the dream I hold so clear in my mind of my future may not work out EXACTLY as I imagine it but do you know what, I will work dam hard to get it as close to that dream as I possibly can. I trust myself enough to know that if I ever feel disappointed I will change my tactics, my approach, my mindset or my actions until I have the life I desire – that is a promise I have made to myself.
With regards to Mark and I'm sure many of you reading this who share the same fear of never achieving your goals or dreams, or experiencing life how it’s meant to be lived, fully, I repeat this as someone once said to me.
'If you do nothing, I guarantee you nothing will happen, nothing will change. If you do something, SOMETHING will ALWAYS happen’
So I ask you, what uncertainty do you need to embrace so you just might get a feel of that greener grass at your feet? What action do you need to take to make SOMETHING different happen? Make that call, apply for that job, end that relationship, initiate that date, open up to your partner, communicate what you want to make a current relationship even stronger, or simply admit to yourself that you want more and you’re no longer willing to settle.
I urge you to go embrace uncertainty; it might just change your life!
Katie Bunting's strong desire to make a difference and bring out the best in everyone that crosses her path has never left her.