On Tuesday 28th September 2010 I began writing a journal/book about my life and how I wanted to go from being someone who was afraid to stand out, to being someone that people looked up to as a role model and inspiration. On my first entry into that book I wrote this:
'My biggest battle has always been with myself. Ever since i remember from school I was always slightly paranoid (okay, majorly paranoid) and overly self-conscious, as many people are. I was confident around people but had a low opinion of myself and my abilities, I always limited myself and didn't realise my own potential. I always dreamed from primary school of being a singer and a dancer. I would form girl groups in the playground and spend break times performing to whoever would watch, where that confidence went I'll never know!'
Why am I sharing this with you? Because I believe a lot of people feel the way I did. I believe a lot of us have lost touch with that happy, care-free, playful child that we once were. Somewhere a long the way we lose our identity and who we are, we become more concerned with what people think of us instead of doing what will make us happy, it's crazy! We trade our happiness for acceptance. But who are we kidding when we do this? If you live life this way, where do you think it will get you? What will you miss out on experiencing because you were afraid to stand out? How will you feel about yourself ten years from now if you don't pursue any of the things you wanted to? How does that make you feel?
What I have come to learn HONESTLY, is that life does suck (yes I actually said that, life sucks at times!), it's hard, really hard. Things don't always go to plan, work out the way we want and life won't always reward you fairly for all the good you do. But that doesn't, and shouldn't, stop you striving for those AMAZING moments, experiences and relationshsips in life that you'll regret never having if you keep returning to the battleground with yourself. Sometimes the best thing you can do is lay down your sword and shield, stop fighting yourself and fight life instead! Let the child in you play a real game, the exciting game of life, play with the ups and downs that come with it.
I will leave you with a quote from the film Rocky that after four years of me pushing myself to grow, I can honestly say I couldn't agree more with this. I will also tell you, if you continue to push through the shit times, it eventually does feel bloody brilliant to one day look in the mirror and like the reflection :)
"The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward."
Hear Rocky's inspiring speech....
...and as you see below, I eventually did 'feel the fear...and do it anyway'.
Katie Bunting's strong desire to make a difference and bring out the best in everyone that crosses her path has never left her.