Are you one of those people that sits browsing Facebook and other network news feeds looking at everyone’s exciting status updates thinking your life just isn’t like theirs? Are you someone who always notices all the good in everyone else’s lives but only the bad and what needs 'improving' in yours? Well I’ll tell you now that I used to be one of those people.
Firstly to delve a little deeper in to these ‘amazing’ status updates, are they really amazing and genuine or is it our negative thoughts telling us otherwise. Is it possible that you feel everyone out there is living such an exciting life when really the things you’re seeing aren’t that extraordinary or real, at all? For example I bet many of you have seen pictures of people eating out at lovely restaurants with happy smiley groups of friends, or boyfriend and girlfriends, and feel sad because they seem to be out and about whilst you’re sat in on Facebook alone. But let’s get real here, if you REALLY wanted to, could you or could you not call someone up you know and say hey "Let’s go out for food?" (it doesn’t have to be somewhere fancy!) turn up, arrive at the table, update status on Facebook, have food, slap a smile on, take photo – hey presto you’re living a 'crazy happy social life too' and now the envy of others !
The point I’m making here is that as with most matters involving people, things are very rarely what they seem. Just like with airbrushing and celebrities, we all know by now that a few celebrities have come out revealing there make-upless faces and pictures of their bodies without airbrushing to prove that perfection as we perceive it, does not and will not ever exist. The same goes for Facebook, not many people are going to post pictures of them throwing plates against the wall in the midst of a fight with their partner at home!! Nor are they going to post up pictures of them cheating on their boyfriend or girlfriend with a caption that reads ‘Oops’. The bottom line is that we post only what we want the world to see and always for a reason, good and bad, so we must stop comparing our lives to others and waiting for change to come to us.
So how does this relate with what to do when life isn’t giving you what you want, when you’re feeling stuck whilst everyone else 'appears' to be moving on happily in life. If this is genuinely how you feel right now, if you were one of my students I’d be saying ok I hear you, do you feel you’ve tried everything to get the outcome you want though? Often I give a list of other possibilities or options and they reply with ‘hmmm I never thought of that’ or ‘I didn’t even know I could do that’ etc. etc.
Usually I would post a quote here to sum up my point right about now, but todays is a definition instead by Albert Einstein (who I’m sure we can all agree was a pretty wise guy!)
'Insanity = doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results'
Instead of looking and comparing your life to some of the false presentations on facebook, look at your life and what caught your attention to read this blog post in the first place. Is there an area of your life where you feel things never seem to get better or that you return to the same problem time and time again? in your relationships? in your job? in how you feel day to day? Or is it the way you feel about your body? Whichever area it is that you feel life is never on your side, maybe it’s because you’re acting as good old Albert would say, insane; Doing the same thing and expecting a different result.
Maybe it’s time to stop whatever it is you’ve been doing that doesn’t work and shake things up. If you need to, join a new gym altogether, try a different approach with a partner to get their attention (something they wouldn’t expect – not in a lunatic sort of way, ha!). Speak to your manager or someone in work about how you feel about your job, or even look for outside help or advice. The internet is a world sized library these days with tips, advice and forums to help with just about any issue you might have.
Whether you get a coach, a counsellor, a book to learn new ways to deal with something, or simply look into other options out there that you already know are possible and within your reach, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. Do something different and life just might give you a different result, the one that you want and have been waiting for.
Be sane and for a change think outside the box, it’s the only way anyone great ever achieved anything amazing!
Katie Bunting's strong desire to make a difference and bring out the best in everyone that crosses her path has never left her.